When I was a child, I feared being here,
And this fear was intelligence, remembered, revered.
But now I am older,
More grown and more bolder,
But because of forgetting,
Still a child in this setting,
Still practice bed-wetting,
Still letting Darkness do letting.
Sometimes tragedy shakes one to the core,
Makes us rethink our lives,
Makes one spiritually sore.
But after the storm,
We get used to the norm,
Gone the pain and the harm,
One forgets the malform.
This forgetting is silent, painful, nonviolent, evil, but
peaceful, moving, but stagnant.
It persists, it conquers, it resists, it learns, it settles, it's
foreign, it's cool, but it burns.
Beware of its starkness,
Being cloudy in sharpness,
Growing great where the heart is,
This forgetting is Darkness.
It must be alive,
Yes, this Darkness, it lives!
Or perhaps, there is...
A perception, that is...
Of someone we know does not want us to live,
Someone we know shares this Darkness of his.
Playing Darkness in me as a piece, as a pawn,
Moving people in places, and feelings, and faces,
There's no stopping the chopping, my mentality sawn.
5
Evil things, evil thoughts, once rejected, now bought.
Once insidious now give to us pleasure in measure.
An allowed immorality, a thought passing through,
Small pulls at integrity, unabated, but few.
Some increasing in pressure,
If detected, they're rejected.
But if subtle: selected.
And with influence perfected,
Though they should be rejected,
Those remaining are accepted,
And because they're accepted,
Then it's Darkness is elected.
6
The mind, being primed, has been put on alarm:
"Penetration!”, “Infiltration!”, “An Evil Elation!”,
“To Your Stations!”, "To the Fight! ", "Gather!", "Bear
arms!",
A war, an attack, an e v i l reform!
"It's not too late!" The struggle expressed.
And then there is winning, and then there's progress!
Defensibility!
Then, in the face of sensibility: Unsensibleness!
And then I am losing, and then I regress!
7
And lost is the progress, lost is the goodness,
Lost is the godliness, lost is the happiness,
Lost is the friendliness, lost is togetherness,
Lost is my God, lost loving-kindness!
Lost is my strength, lost is respectedness,
Lost are my plans, my goals, my future, my hope,
My reasons for zeal, my reasons to cope.
Lost Holy Spirit, lost my determinedness,
Lost is my way, lost my clearheadedness.
8
I am lost, I am sinking, I did not pass the test,
I have not won the battle, I did not do my best.
I did not lean on God and I did not become blessed.
I am lost, and am losing, and I want to be leaving
But God says to me, now in tears:
"Even now, you should be cleaving."
I am lost and need help, and need be advancing,
I am lost, and now. . . . it's true. . . .
In hated Darkness. . . .
now dancing.
